Asteroid L

I'm a writer, software designer, and programmer, hailing originally from Brazil, now living in beautiful (if sometimes annoying) Beijing, China. Here, you can have my resume.

See, the thing is... I have too many websites, or “web-thingies” in general. So I decided to kill one of them, and turn it into a “Planet” site, aggregating feeds from all others. This way you can read everything in one place. Enjoy!

Oh. To see (or write!) comments, you need to go to each post on its original site. To do that, click on the orange title (**not** the black site title on an orange bar, the orange title below that).

2008-10-06

from Hysterical Raisins

Review: Sanctuary

This weekend I watched the first double-episode of Sanctuary, the new series in the Sci-Fi Channel. If you're a self-respecting sci-fi geek, you probably know that Sanctuary was created by one actor, one writer, and one producer of Stargate: SG-1, and that it started off as a web-based series. The double-episode is, in fact, the first “season” of the web series, with the tiniest bit of re-shooting and, dare I say it?, “re-post-production”.

The writing isn't bad, the acting is decent (great in some cases, but unfortunately not the lead), and the special effects are pretty good.

Still, I give it a “FAIL”. Sorry, but it's just not interesting. There's nothing new, there's nothing that happens there to keep me interested. Supernatural creatures living in secret in our world? Yawn, that was cool in the early 90s. What, so the big secret of the “mysterious” Doctor Magnus is that? Sorry, that was already old in the early 90s when the rest of the premise was cool. Also, you just ruined the “mysterious” part by revealing it so soon.

It's also too slow on the first half, lots of talking heads and little plot progress, with the second half having too much action and little plot progress. In fact, plot progress tends to happen in “bursts”, which is, sorry, not good at all.

Good try, but I won't be coming back for the next one.

by lalo at 2008-10-06 03:23 PM

2008-10-02

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Now please take your hands out of my neck

Had this huge fight with someone I love... over money.  Not going to say who, because it doesn't matter, as it will become apparent once you finish reading this.

I had promised to give her $500.  I meet her a few days later.  She wanted the money, I said I already had given it, she didn't remember getting it, things got ugly.

Well.  Now that things cooled down, I want to say I'm not mad at you, and you know what, we were both right.

How is that possible?

Simple: it was a dream.  In dreams (well, mine at least), reality is not solid and everything is possible.  That's how I met you in the "wrong" city, living in a place you never lived (and IMO never would) -- yet, the Friday prior, I had met you (and given you the 500) in my granma's old house, which my subconscious mind insists on putting on pretty much every dream.  At least this time there was candy.

So yeah.  I not only "dream-remembered" giving you the money; I had also actually dreamed of giving it to you earlier on, so I definitely was telling you the truth.  On the other hand, if you swear you don't remember getting it, that's probably because you didn't get it.  Dream stuff, go figure.  And since you're really a dream creature, existing only on that dream, and I'm now awake, then I have no idea who I'm talking to, since you clearly don't exist anymore.

Oh well.  At least there was candy.  (Citron, for some reason, not sweet potato or even pumpkin... but whatever.)

On a tangential note, I'm kind of happy with my subconscious mind.  Yeah my strange dreams still "have" to be in São Paulo and involve my granma's old house, but at least this time the money was RMB.  (I'm not sure I even remember what BRLs look like.)

2008-10-02 02:12 AM

2008-09-24

from Hysterical Raisins

Freedom for Whom?

I think I've seen this argument for the first time in a Slashdot comment, years ago. I've since adopted it, refined it, and used it a lot myself; but now in light of the Android release, I think it's worth mentioning again.

The big problem I see with “Open Source” is that there are, in fact, two groups there. Fortunately the same is not true of Free Software, but even our arguing that it's about freedom still doesn't help... well, read on.

The thing with “Open Source” is: who is it open to?

Arguably, Open Source, as a vague, undefined thing, has existed for decades. But as a conscious, named movement with its own marketing, it spun off from the Free Software movement in the late 1990s, after the “open-sourcing” of Mozilla and the publishing of The Cathedral and the Bazaar. (Or, according to some, it spun off a few weeks later, when RMS noticed those guys were talking about something else and split off from the Open Source initiative.) Still, in hindsight, one can say things like the BSDs, and even the original Unix, were done more in the spirit of Open Source than of Free Software.

Now Free Software, with all its GNU/FSF writings, has always been very clear about its goals. We're here for the freedoms of the user. If you get a piece of software, you have a bunch of inalienable rights, rights that aren't being respected by most software, and which we intend to uphold and defend. Nice, eh?

Open Source people, on the other hand, seem to be a little confused about this. It's like watching two madmen (or drunks) arguing, each founding an argument on an entirely different premise. Some, perhaps still in touch with the “origins” of Open Source in the 90s, believe it's about being “open” to the users of the software. Others have adopted the belief (from BSD maybe?) that it's all about “openness” to the developers.

(More importantly, some of them don't realise Free Software ≠ Open Source, and mistakenly argue this in even more confusing terms; like the old fallacy that the GPL, and viral licenses in general, are bad for Free Software because they give “less freedom” than BSD-style licenses. They do, if you're thinking of other developers, who will then have the “freedom” to “steal” my software and use it in their own closed software, and not give back to the project in any way. I don't care the least about those; I'm writing software for the freedom of my users, and those have their freedoms enforced by a viral license. Now are viral licenses bad for Open Source? Honestly, I couldn't care less.)

The Android platform seems to be firmly planted in the latter camp, sadly. (Or maybe not so sadly; I rejoice with every Java-based product that fails.) It's “open”, first and foremost, for handset makers and network operators, and a distant second, to application developers. “Openness” for the end-user doesn't seem to even be a consideration. Now of course, both things are pretty much incompatible; being “open” to the operators means, really, “open” for them to “close” it in whatever ways they want; so yeah, no VOIP.

Oh well. At least I don't need to be conflicted about whether I want an Android device, whether I can stand Java long enough to actually like the OS. Clearly, that won't be a consideration, and OpenMoko — or, if they fail, someone else, probably using LiMo or FSO stacks — will be the mobile phone for me. Eventually :-)

by lalo at 2008-09-24 08:50 AM

2008-09-15

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Zorro and the Lone Ranger

Still get Zorro and the Lone Ranger mixed up? Never fear! Print this handy cheat sheet and never be confused again, kimosabe!

WhatZorroThe Lone Ranger
CostumeBlack, looseGrey, form-fitting
Queer accessoryCapeRed scarf tied around the neck
HatBlack Andalusian hatWhite cowboy hat
WhereLos AngelesWest, mostly Texas
WhenEarly 19th centuryLate 19th century
NameDon Diego de la VegaReid (first name unrevealed, probably Dan or John)
WeaponRapier, occasionally bullwhipPistol with silver bullets
Trademark attackCutting a Z on the enemy's clothesDisarming with a shot
BehaviorWitty, cunning, "fox-like"Honorable and mysterious
SidekickFrei FelipeTonto
HorseTornadoSilver
Talking to the horseLong loud whistle calls Tornado from anywhere"Hi-yo, Silver, away!"
GenreGentleman thiefMystery cowboy
Likely inspirationsArséne Lupin, Robin HoodZorro, pulp Western books
Influenced, notablyBatman, The Lone RangerBill Cosby, a number of Marvel Western comics, the X-Files


2008-09-15 11:05 PM

2008-09-14

from Hysterical Raisins

Creationists, I feel your plight

You know what... I do understand and respect a family's right to believe any idiotic nonsense they want to. Who knows; it's a seriously messed up universe we live in, they could even be right.

But whether or not they're factually right is not what matters most in my book (which is not a holy book). Rather... their theories are grounded in a larger belief system, which has at its core a moral and ethical code. Telling the children in absolute terms that their parents beliefs are wrong, understandably, undermines the whole system, which in turn undermines the code.

(I'm not saying American creationists have a great code. Those are often the same people who are racists, xenophobes, or quick to judge someone by the bank account. But it's built on a good stem of what Americans call "work ethic", and arguably, it's better than no code at all.)

At the root of the argument is, in fact, a completely different wrong, which is the one I actually wanted to address in this post. The problem actually does lie with the (majority of) science teachers, who fall for the trap I call "the religion of science".

Good, respectable scientists almost never talk about facts. A fact, or rather an absolute rule, is anathema to good science; the only facts useful to scientists are the results of their experiments, everything else is theory.

What about bad scientists? Oh, those are frequently 100% sure of obvious truths, like, "the atom is indivisible" and "heat is a fluid" and "there's no such a thing as a memristor". (They're particularly eager to label things "impossible".)

The pattern here is: an open mind is the first pre-requisite for science, even more important than genius.

But in school -- and not only America, but many other places -- you only start hearing this kind of talk in college, or if you're really lucky, high school. Basic science, the teachers who were supposed to be giving children the basics of science and awakening potential future scientists, generally fall for "the religion of science". They "teach" absolutes; this is so, because that is so. Which is specially funny since some things they teach in basic school are known to be untrue, like Newtonian physics.

We wouldn't be even having this argument if school science teachers could behave like good scientists and formulate their teachings like, "evidence suggests that..." and "it is believed that..." and "apparently, ..." and, often, "this and that evidence points to the conclusion that...".

What, actually teach creationism in schools? No, now you're pushing it. Come on, the other parents also have the right to keep their children safely away from your nonsensical idiocy.

by lalo at 2008-09-14 10:46 PM

2008-09-10

from Hysterical Raisins

Spore: Epic Fail

On paying for games, pirating, platforms, etc

Up until last Friday, I was pretty sure I'd be buying Spore shortly after its release. Of course I'd play it first to be safe, but based on what I knew, it couldn't go wrong.

Now, why would I buy any software at all, if I believe software should be Free, and proprietary software is morally wrong? Well, to begin with, there's nothing wrong with buying Free Software; my first Debian was installed from a CD I bought by mail. Second, I (still) make an exception for games, because in my head, the moral/ethic argument for Free Software doesn't hold; games are, as I see it, a new form of art, and for best enjoyment of it you don't require the ability to change, fix, and port it. Now, I still prefer games to be Free Software, because they still have bugs and they still have to be ported — if Spore was Free, I'd buy it despite everything I'm writing in the rest of this article. But no, they don't have to be Free, not in the same way that something critical for me such as my web server or desktop environment needs to be Free so I can fix it.

That said, I never buy Windows games. My OS does need to be Free, and therefore I don't run Windows, and I'm not installing it for a game. I can has a GNU/Linux version plz? Failing that, I do buy Wii games (even though the Wii is Eva's), and since I wasn't following the news too closely, I thought I'd be buying Wii Spore about now. But no; Wii Spore doesn't even have a release date yet. (Oh, and the DS port, which I also planned to buy, is only Creature. No thanks.)

Still, I wanted to try it out. So thanks to someone who does (still) run Windows and did download the cracked version of the game, I played it a few times — a total of about 30 hours now, alone and with Eva, and through all stages. What did I find?

A pack of mini-games

I've seen a number of Wii products that pose (and sell) as a game, but are actually a pack of mini-games. Usually some are fun, some aren't, and none will entertain you for more than a few minutes.

Spore feels like that. Each of the five games — yeah, I'm going to call them what they are, not “stages”, because they're hardly even connected — could have benefited from more development. The whole thing doesn't fit together so much.

For example: you'd think spending a lot of effort in the Creature game to make your species fast, lethal, and possibly flying would give you a big advantage in the Tribe game, right? Well, it doesn't. Having more life helps, but everything else barely makes a difference. Then you go to Civilisation, and wow, now it doesn't make a difference at all; it's straight to trash. You'd think a flying species would have different cities at least? Yeah, only if you design them that way. The fact that walls are entirely pointless isn't even considered by the game.

Cell and Civilisation

I'll get those two out of the way first, because it should be quick.

How can I best put this... well... one word says it all: YAWN.

Swimming around in 2-d eating things? Really? People spend time doing that? And pay for it? I don't think so, sorry.

(BTW, the fact that the iPhone port is only the Cell game, in all its boring glory — and on the iPhone, one of the hottest gaming platforms of the moment — yells FAIL at me.)

Now Civilisation. Yeah I played this already, in a number of incarnations, all better. Please go away now, KTHXBYE.

Tribe

This is, of course, an RTS. But different from Civilisation, a simplified RTS is actually a good thing, maybe. I usually don't have patience for the genre because there's too much complexity, and it usually boils down to knowing the trees backwards and clicking insanely fast. Tribe actually works. It's moderately fun to play, and if you actually did play from Creature to Tribe, it gives you a minor fuzzy to see your species walking around, fighting, dancing, and chatting.

The game is, however, not compelling. You get to it from Creature, you play it, you enjoy it. But I don't imagine myself ever launching Spore to play Tribe. I don't imagine myself ever wanting to play this, or even remembering it exists unless I'm having a Spore conversation. (And possibly even then.)

I do appreciate casual gaming. I play a lot of We Ski, and the reason I do is that each time I do, I can spend 5 minutes or 5 hours, my choice. However, it's essential to the success of a casual game that, if I do choose to spend 5 hours, I won't be bored to death. We Ski accomplishes that by having all the fun little mini-quests, by unlocking new wardrobe, and by having a bunch of different things to do (slalom, moguls — which I haven't mastered yet, air tricks, cruising and appreciating the scenery, or just going really fast). Tribe... I can't imagine playing it for too long. In fact, the one time I played it, I was already bored by the time it was over; it was the only game I didn't stick around in after I had unlocked the next one.

Now, different than all others, I have no idea why Tribe doesn't work. It just doesn't. Maybe it's not that it has a reason to fail, but that it doesn't have any reason to win. Hunting wild animals? Yeah, well, that's what Creature was about, no? Killing or converting rival tribes? Again, nothing new there... in fact, it plays as a simpler, less interesting version of Creature, only with a larger pack; which is really bad since at this point, you just finished a game of Creature.

And speaking of which...

Creature

This one is entertaining enough. Enough to pay for it? Well, maybe not. But close.

It certainly appeals to me personally to wander around the continent exploring; I always liked to do this in many different kinds of games.

Customising your creature again and again is fun.

But fighting or impressing other creatures is only fun for the first few hours. And again, I don't mean in a casual gaming way, as in a few hours each time. No; after a few hours, you probably won't ever enjoy it again. It becomes just a medium to test if your customisations were effective, and “landmarks” for your exploration of the world (if you're an explorer type like me, otherwise you won't care). Oh, and a way to earn DNA and parts.

So essentially, the game is about customising the creature, which requires unlocking parts and earning DNA; and for a segment of people, exploring.

This already smells a little odd, since I just said the methods of acquiring DNA points gets boring fast. So it's really grind grind customise grind grind?

Then you fall into the major failing of the game. Here it is, brace yourself: customisation is mostly fake.

It's a race to get the parts that give score 5 for whatever moves you want. Which ones you'll get, what shape you make them, and where you stick them, is not at all important. Items with no score (ears, noses, antennae, and extra eyes apart from the mandatory one or pair) are pure decoration. Painting is completely cosmetic. Body shape doesn't matter at all. Scores don't add up, so an item with Dance 2 and one with Dance 3 mean you have Dance 3 and a superfluous body part.

Sprinting and speed are useful to catch prey (if you're aggressive) or run away from predators (if you're social). Flying and jumping don't really seem to make a difference. (I still get them anyway because they make exploring slightly faster, by jumping over chasms and whatnot.)

What, you don't believe me? Still think you have to design your creature reasonably, in order for it to survive? Ok then. Witness the Thingy. This lovely (!?!) omnivore has conquered the hearts of almost all species in planet Majig, and evolved sentience. QED.

The Thingy from planet Majig

Free candy if you can identify the parts I used. Heck, I challenge you to even figure out which side is the "front".

(Why yes. I did go for the less viable thing I could design. And sorry if you have nightmares with this thing.)

Space

Finally, the most enjoyable game in the pack.

Again, it falls in the already played this trap, if only partially. The terraforming part is fun, but you can't play it much, because it's expensive and you need money... so lots of boring other things to do in order to get money.

Although my civilisation (the Caffeine from planet Capuccino) was aggressive, I started out playing peacefully, as it wasn't readily apparent how I could possibly do otherwise. Only later I found that out, but too late — now the enemies are much stronger than me. I wonder if I'd have enjoyed the game more if I had from the beginning played the Caffeine as the aggressive bastards I know they are deep down, and conquered those whiny neighbours instead of establishing trade routes.

(I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?)

Now this is a game where I see some potential. There's pretty much always more stuff to discover, and contrary to other similar games (like Elite and Vega Strike), you don't get bogged down in the details of actually piloting the ship. (Which, don't get me wrong, are actually fun in Elite and Vega Strike, but a little too difficult, and it does get old.) Maybe one of the reasons I played the Caffeine as traders for so long is that I'm actually enjoying figuring out planets that will pay decently for each colour of spice.

(Perhaps I'll try playing with the Thingies once. I'm sure they'll either scare the aliens to death, or confuse them to inaction. But if I run across one of those species that follow the Books of Order, they'll probably wipe me out at first sight, on principle.)

It does help you enjoy the game once you realise you don't have to respond to all the stupid distress calls. No, the pirates are not going to conquer your planet. That also makes the game slightly less involving, but I suppose it's an acceptable tradeoff.

Do I find any serious fault with the Space game? Well, like many others, there's a bit of a tutorial track, constantly limiting what you can do in the first few minutes, even if you've already played this game dozens of times. (I'm guessing here, as I only played twice, but if the tutorials haven't disappeared on the second time, they wouldn't disappear on the 30th, right?)

And once more, it's a bit disappointing that everything else I did before (I mean seriously, I exterminated every single non-Caffeine species on my continent in Creature, and stomped through everyone else in Civilisation) doesn't have any bearing at all on Space. But I may be repeating myself here.

Finishing thoughts

As someone else said, it's ridiculous that each of those games have a completely different user interface, in particular the camera controls. And there's no control customisation. Please EA, you know better!

Really, I've seen lots of reviews saying it has “innovative gameplay”. Can someone please point out where? I couldn't find it.

And then there's the stupid, ridiculous DRM. If you do decide to buy this game-pack despite all I've said, do yourself a favour: keep the box closed (get only your serial number), and play the cracked version you can find in a number of places online.

by lalo at 2008-09-10 05:00 PM

2008-09-04

from Hysterical Raisins

2008-08-24

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Mental Exercise of the Day

(I'll be posting those more or less every day, until I grow tired of the idea.)

MEotD: can you conceive an universe with a different value of pi?  How does that work?

2008-08-24 02:30 AM

2008-08-15

from Hysterical Raisins

Nintendo's next portable should be around soon

The Nintendo DS came out in 2004; the GBA, in 2001; the GBC, in 98. See a pattern? The next Nintendo portable should be around any time. My guess is, it probably was already designed by late last year, and they aborted the whole process, to incorporate what they learned from the Wii, and hopefully the iPhone.

Here is what I predict it will look like, in no particular order — I'm privately calling it the “Nintendo DT”.

  • Two screens, like the DS, but both multi-touch, either 512x320 (more likely — that's “computer widescreen”, 16x10) or 512x288 (“true” widescreen, 16x9, might be chosen in order to make the device just that little bit narrower).
  • No physical buttons, except for power, and possibly L/R. All controls are via touchscreen (and accelerometers). Or maybe it's too early for that, since haptic tactition emulation isn't usable yet; in that case it may keep controls similar to the DS Lite, making the bottom screen smaller (4x3 — 384x288). Possibly an analog nub. Two, if they really really feel like one-upping Sony.
  • Video codecs and player built-in so you can watch your movies on the go (a must with the widescreen).
  • Camera either built-in or sold as an add-on.
  • Probably no stylus at all.
  • Definitely no GBA compatibility. (But the homebrew scene will have an emulator — VBA probably — up in weeks.)
  • Better Wi-Fi; at least 802.11n. And Bluetooth.
  • Browser built-in.
  • More built-in storage, maybe an SSD or even HD (hope not); WiiWare is making a lot of money, and for watching movies you'll need space too. Maybe an SD or MicroSD slot?
  • Maybe music player software built-in as well. (Can anyone say MarioPod? Or is it PokéPod?)
  • I wouldn't be too surprised if it uses Cortex CPUs.
  • “Slave mode” where it basically becomes a souped-up controller (with extra display area) for the Wii. Hacked in two or three months to become a “slave” to a Linux machine; practical application for the hack doesn't arrive for a long time, if ever.

Oh, and I'll probably buy one, install some Free Software, and use it as my “netbook”. Sounds great for media and writing on the go ;-) Unless, of course, the Pandora arrives first...

by lalo at 2008-08-15 03:58 AM

2008-08-13

from Hysterical Raisins

Olympics (and other sport nonsense) considered harmful

People who know me are often amazed at my lack of interest on sports, specially during the Olympics. The question of “why” does arise occasionally, although not as often as you'd think. So I figured, hmm, that's a reasonable topic for a blog post.

First, I don't like competitive sports.

The idea of physical activity for fun or pleasure, I can relate to. You feel exhilarated when you bike, hike, or row up a hill? Good for you.

And the concept of wanting to “improve” your body, stretch your limits, is to be commended. I think.

But competing for the feeling that you're “better” than your (often arbitrary) “adversary”, on account of some extremely abstract, and usually completely pointless accomplishment, like running a ball through a loop? That's just ridiculous. It's understandable, since it appeals to many of our baser instincts, but it's not the kind of behaviour I'd encourage.

In fact, maybe that's the point: encouraging. Many sports activities — in fact, generally the most popular ones — are really updated excuses to engage in many kinds of behaviour we really, really should be working harder on leaving behind. I'd even go so far as saying, in my opinion, the love for sports in our modern culture is one of the (admittedly many) roots of the predatory, every-man-for-himself mentality which is perhaps the greatest obstacle to our evolution into a fairer and, well, more reasonable society.

And there you go, we segue nicely into the Olympics. The whole thing is, as I see it, hugely hypocritical. Its proponents, like many supporters of sports all over the world, try to pass it as a symbol of union and brotherhood; but at the bottom line, it's all about “my” country getting more medals than yours. It's not only a barbaric competitive tribal war, it's also a reinforcement of nationalism, which is another thing we're overdue getting rid of.

Feel free, if you want, to invite me for a hike, or biking, golfing, or even, if I'm in the right mood, a baseball game. But please, please, don't invite me to watch sports; while I understand and share the pleasure of doing it, I really see no point in watching it. And above all, don't ask me about the Olympics, unless you really want to hear how strongly I don't care.

by lalo at 2008-08-13 03:21 PM

2008-08-06

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Sun-Chained-in-Ink

DC's Trinity #10 has a villain called "Sun-Chained-in-Ink".  Pronounced "All reasonable names were taken".  Come on, DC, really?

2008-08-06 04:43 PM

2008-08-02

from Hysterical Raisins

Mass unblocking in the Great Firewall of China

Seems a batch of sites got unblocked. Wiki.edia (marvel as I blog in regular expressions) is accessible (again), Wikibooks, Reuters, CNN, and a lot more.

Still blocked: blogspot, livejournal, wordpress (no surprise here -- lots of political blogs), BBC, certainly more; most importantly, Sinfest and CRFH :-( (why the f* is CRFH blocked? Zombies? Satan?)

Also, the web feels slightly faster in general!

by lalo at 2008-08-02 02:13 PM

2008-07-28

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Google mojo

So, while studying up on SEO, I decide to go take a look at the state of my own sites.

It seems Asteroid L ranks at #9 in a search for "sevensome hardcore sex".

Wow.  Just wow.

What's the correct expression again?  Oh yes.  "Ur doin it rong."

(Yeah, I do know why, as does (probably) anyone who reads my blog.  But it's funneh anyway that I'd rank so high.  Guess there aren't enough sevensome pr0n sites out there.)

2008-07-28 10:40 PM

2008-07-10

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Won't Someone Think of the Children?

Eva shows me a video made by CCTV (for those not-China-savvy, that's the state network, not "Closed Circuit TV") about WoW and MMORPGs.

I see a room full of young people in army uniform (and some concerned-looking elders, presumably moms, in the back) watching a video of WoW in a big screen.

Me: What, they're teaching the army to fight dragons?
Eva: They're trying to convince them, and us, that MMORPGs are evil.
Me: No.  You must be pulling my leg, my theory was less ridiculous.
Eva: They say if you play WoW you lose your humanity.
Me: No, hmm, that would be Vampire the Masquerade.  (Sorry for the geeklings in the audience who don't have the background to get this one.)

Cue scene of human character massacred by creatures I can't identify (because I'm not a WoW player myself) -- orcs?  Giants?

Me: Well yeah, it doesn't look too good for humans if you suck at playing it...

It's ridiculous and a bit infuriating, though.  Any other place (well, almost), this would be an instant lawsuit.  But of course, it would be a bad idea to sue the state-operated TV network in a state that's still partially totalitarian.  It's times like this that I'm really tempted to go invest my money elsewhere... (well, when I have any!)

2008-07-10 01:21 PM

2008-06-08

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #44 This One Written By The Lalo From Evilverse

It's April 385th. For 19 days, Cannon Fodder has been crossing universes, looking for the one the Xinerama Brotherhood uses as their base of operations. The New Misfits have been searching for the Time Crapper, who apparently has the Ultimate Gnab, an universe-killing weapon created by the Evilverse LNH. Pantra, the foul-mouthed, badly-behaved leopard girl who came from the future with some of the New Misfits, has been running with them, apparently because it gives her "more things to hit". Oh, and the leader of the New Misfits, Blackbird, has been captured by the Evilverse equivalent of his group, called the Acla Fright, and replaced by his own Evilversion, Deathbird. The Acla Fright then proceeded to interrogate and kill him. Or so they thought.

=============================-=============================

...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-06-08 07:10 AM

2008-05-30

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #43 Coming Up With Bad Guys Is Not That Hard

Twenty days ago, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a Xinerama Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks before that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest criminal organization their world has ever seen, and that was after repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.

But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack again (Cannon Fodder went looking for them). The Ultimate Gnab, the terrible Evilverse weapon which the Xinerama intended to use, was stolen by a cloaked figure which we're assuming to be the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed mortal enemy of the New Misfits (who went looking for him.) And, worst of all, Pantra decided it would be fun to stick around. OUCH, watch those claws! ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-30 11:26 PM

2008-05-28

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

No new comics yesterday...

...because of the US holiday (Memorial Day) last Monday.

I mean, seriously. Diamond*, wtf?

*For those not addicted to comics: Diamond is the US distributor who, for all intents and purposes, has a monopoly on distribution of mainstream comics. Like most monopolies, they have no clue what they're doing.

A pal helpfully informed me that union rules in US say they'd have to pay 2.5x the normal rates if they wanted people to work in the holiday. Which I totally get; I don't like forcing anybody to work in a holiday either.

But this is just a case of a monopoly not planning ahead, because they don't have to. If the holiday was on the Tuesday, then yeah, I totally get it that the stuff is actually trucked around in the day before. But two days? Anyone with an IQ better than a shoe could work it out; that's what the Friday and Saturday are there for, dimwit!

But I guess it's not called "diamond" because it's bright or transparent... it's because they're a little dense... and if you try to work with them you'll realize how hard they are!

Frankly, I don't understand why a bunch of American readers don't just band together and slap Diamond's ass with a class-action suit. I would.

2008-05-28 11:15 PM

2008-05-25

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #42 Life, the Looniverse, and Everything

Yesterday, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a Xinerama Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks before that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest criminal organization their world has ever seen, and that was after repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.

You'd imagine they'd be very busy now tapping each other in the back, wouldn't you?

But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack again. The Ultimate Gnab, the terrible Evilverse weapon which the Xinerama intended to use, was stolen by a cloaked figure which we're assuming to be the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed mortal enemy of the New Misfits. (Yeah, go figure. We don't ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-25 07:39 AM

2008-05-23

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #41 Oh Yeah Baby Gnab Me Harder

Back on Sunday, April 57th 2007, Cannon Fodder's and Innovative- Offense Boy's enjoyment of a kiwis-versus-mind-controlled- insects battle was interrupted by a strange figure. His skin was a deep, but reflexive black, like an LCD screen when it's off. For hair, he had three thick strands, running from his eyebrows to the back of his neck; one red, one green, and one blue. His eyes were red, and he had sideburns -- green on his right side, blue on his left. He told them he was a rogue member of the Xinerama Brotherhood, self-appointed guardians of the Usenetverse, and that his brothers had decided to wipe out the Looniverse, for its annoying insistence on using alt.comics.lnh in addition to rec.arts.comics.creative.

Almost an year later, or what would be an year if April wasn't dragging on indefinitely, on April 365th, he returned. Cannon ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-23 06:30 PM

2008-05-13

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #40 Will I Really Destroy Everything?

Previously in 58.5:

While in a campaign against the Crime Empire, the New Misfits busted a vice den set up specially for comic book addicts; dark, poorly-ventilated rooms, with shelves full of old issues turning the whole place into a maze, pretty girls in costumes (well, they look pretty in the dark, to comic junkies without a life) serving pizza and soda, and paid trolls hanging around to discuss the finer points of Mr. Fantastic's sex life or who'd win in a fight between the Detective Chimp and Howard the Duck.

"Um", said the Amazing Amazon, "I'm not sure this is even illegal, in fact it's kind of cool..."

"They don't serve Mr. Paprika", declared Blackbird. "That has ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-13 08:27 PM

2008-05-09

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #39 Yes I So *Can* Write Kid Recap

Hi! Kid Recap here. Funky numbering aside, this issue is more or less the middle of the road for the series. So, the New Misfits and Cannon Fodder asked me to set aside a few minutes and bring you up to date on the story so far. If you're picking up the series now, this is the best issue to start with. If you're pondering whether to pick it up but intimidated by the number, this one is for you. If you just want to recap and refresh your memory -- and who doesn't love a recap? -- then by all means enjoy it. If you did read everything up to now, maybe more than once, and still have no clue what's going on, well then, I guess this issue won't help too much, as it's exactly as badly written as the rest. Sorry!

58.5 is a series of fiction stories in a shared universe called "LNH", which stands for Legion of Net.Heroes, the premier ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-09 09:46 PM

2008-05-07

from LNH Archives

Re: LNH: 58.5 #29 Look Ma I can Write Big Events

[gods, I suck, or something. Two months without posting and I forget how to do it?]

In another plane of existence, a red-haired girl was intently studying complex diagrams and practicing hand gestures. A beast, larger and more terrible than most minds can cope with, approached and looked at her with the pride of a master.

%YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED AT YOUR HOME WORLD IN A LONG TIME.%

"What's the point? I have much to do. And since we have accelerated time here, every time I look it's more or less the same thing." She didn't even look at him.

%IT'S NOT THE SAME THING NOW. YOU SHOULD LOOK.% ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-07 02:27 PM

2008-05-04

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #28

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that April has already lasted for 290 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance, which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus). ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-05-04 03:54 AM

2008-05-01

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Comics are my crack

(13:10:12) Lalo: Why do I read comics?
(13:10:42) 美: because you're a dork. Any inteligent person would had quit by now.
(13:10:59) 美: *beats DC and Marvel*
(13:11:56) Lalo: Kord is alive, Bucky is alive, Uncle Ben was alive for a while there, Barry Allen is alive, Supergirl is alive (if a little brain-dead), Peter Parker never married... what's next, the Waynes?
(13:12:38) 美: You're late. I made this joke more than 12 hours ago.
(13:14:44) 美: that's why I only read Tek Jansen.
(13:15:28) 美: I'm seriously tired of comics.
(13:15:38) 美: I don't enjoy reading it anymore.
(13:16:13) Lalo: I suppose I still enjoy looking for the diamonds in the middle of the shit
(13:16:36) Lalo: Morrison still writes some pretty fucked up stuff now and then, but you have to read everything he writes to catch it
(13:16:38) 美: I stopped giving a fuck long ago.
(13:17:11) 美: it demands energy I prefer devoting to books at this point in my life :/
(13:17:17) Lalo: Fables is awesome, Booster Gold is hilarious (except that the last storyline just isn't working), Blue Beetle is BSG-cool
(13:18:04) 美: :P
(13:19:55) 美: As I said, one shit too many.
(13:20:23) 美: or should I say one ton of shit too many?
(13:20:36) Lalo: Well, if they keep trying this hard, I suppose I'll get to that point too
(13:21:02) 美: no, you won't.
(13:21:08) 美: You'll be the last reader.
(13:21:12) 美: srsly man.
(13:21:50) 美: You'll only quit this shit in your grave.
(13:21:54) 美: XD
(13:23:00) Lalo: well, I'm going to blog this entire conversation.
(13:23:29) 美: hahahahah then let it be said that comics is your crack.
(13:24:26) 美: It will eventually kill you, but you won't be able to quit it. XD
(13:25:01) Lalo: Thanks, you just gave the post a title too :-P
(13:25:24) 美: I'm that nice to you, you know.
(13:26:33) 美: Wanna talk more with an ex-addicted? XD
(13:26:44) Lalo: bout what?
(13:28:47) 美: About comics, duh. Holy shit, did it kill all your brain cells already? Would explain why the fuck you keep reading.
(13:32:01) Lalo: I mean, hmm
(13:35:31) 美: You can always tell me about the worst titles you've read. I know I'm a masochist.
(13:35:38) Lalo: lol
(13:35:57) Lalo: Well, hmm... Jim Starlin is clearly a skrull
(13:36:29) Lalo: the man who wrote all those awesome comics in the 70s and 80s must be imprisoned in some skrull dungeon with the real Chris Claremont
(13:37:04) 美: (that actually reminds me of the blog idea you had. :P)
(13:38:17) Lalo: Death of the New Gods was impossibly dumb, and Countdown was mindfuckingly bad; but their individual stupidity was compounded by the fact that the two endings, already ridiculous enough, were incompatible with each other.
(13:38:59) Lalo: In DONG (that's the best acronym for a bad book ever), Darkseid collects the souls of all New Gods and takes on the Source; then leaves for Earth for unknown reasons, and the mini is over.
(13:39:31) 美: Hahahahahhahah, Dong XD
(13:39:51) Lalo: In C2FC, he gets to Earth to recover the souls which were stored in Jimmy Olsen, but Ray Palmer destroys the "soul battery" (?!?!?) before he can recover them; then Orion shows up and kicks his ass.
(13:39:58) Lalo: hmmmmmmmmmmmm... yeah, ok.
(13:40:22) Lalo: Hyperflies, you know.
(13:40:25) 美: Wait a sec. Orion?
(13:41:04) Lalo: Yeah, Darkseid's son who was according to prophecies supposed to kill him one day
(13:41:10) Lalo: And he did
(13:41:20) 美: C2FC? Sounds like a Star Wars droid.
(13:41:31) Lalo: "Countdown 2 Final Crisis"
(13:42:06) 美: Ah, ok. *point to the DONG* He walked with the New Gods, right?
(13:42:36) Lalo: Yeah, he was raised in New Genesis by the Highfather. Dude in red spandex and silver helmet with a sun in the forehead.
(13:42:56) 美: and by walk I mean 'holy shit, I'm sleepy I can't speak english anymore.'
(13:42:59) Lalo: To add insult to injury, after those two stupid and incompatible endings, we'll be having Final Crisis, which starts from the premise that Darkseid "won" (won what?) and is now all-powerful. eeeeeeeeeeeer... WTF?
(13:43:06) 美: I remember. Very gay.
(13:43:18) ***Lalo headdesks
(13:43:29) 美: hhahaahhaahhahaah, we should start discussing comics in LOLspeak, man! \o/
(13:44:46) Lalo: Oh, and minor annoying detail, the end of this "story" in C2FC #2 was out two weeks before its buildup in DONG #8. I think someone took the backwards numbering of C2FC a bit too far...
(13:45:24) 美: Ok, now my brain hurts.
(13:45:30) Lalo: yeah.

2008-05-01 05:54 AM

2008-04-29

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Random insight into the Asian mind of the week

The character 气 means steam, vapour, air; it also means "qi" or "chi", as in the martial arts concept; it also means, when used as a verb, to anger, to make angry. Discovering this made a lot of Anime scenes that previously made zero sense suddenly understandable!

2008-04-29 10:17 AM

2008-04-28

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Dude, where's my battlestar?

I've been enjoying Battlestar Galactica season 4, yes, but for some reason, not as much as I expected.  It was disappointing, it was missing something, and I was having trouble putting my finger on what.  Today I figured it out.

I'm having a hard time caring about it, because those aren't the characters I so painstakingly learned to love.

Now, I do believe that characters that change, evolve, grow, and yes, even devolve sometimes, are essential to good storytelling.  My problem with comics these days is that most things that change, eventually get rolled back to "status quo" by a different writer (or editor) that didn't like them.  So I'm glad those guys are changing.  However, changing too many of them at the same time is a mistake, because your audience will feel lost, abandoned.  I don't recognise these people, and as such, I don't give a frak about them.

The only ones that didn't get completely turned upside down (or airlocked) were, let me see, the Admiral, Helo, and Athena.  But I never really cared too much for the Admiral, and I positively dislike Helo, which leaves me only the Toaster Babe... who made, if memory serves, one appearance in this season.

I suppose if I count recurring characters, I still have Cottle and Zarek to smile about.  Oh, Gaeta didn't change much, but he changed a lot in season 3, and I can't stand him anymore.  Ah yeah, and Racetrack... the most boring character in the series, worse than Simon even.  I was surprised to notice I actually felt disappointed last episode when she failed to die.  Sigh.

Now to be honest, I do like the new Lee more than the old one; and Sam is finally getting developed into an actual character.  So it isn't all bad.  Heck, it's not bad at all in absolute terms, because stuff is happening; it's just, I feel like I have to get to know the characters all over again, I feel... well, lost and abandoned.

Maybe I'll feel better when D'anna returns.  Er... she will, won't she?

.....

Ok, just to put some more volume into the post, I'll share my pet BSG mad theories :-P  Those aren't new, but stuff I've been musing for some time.  Spoiler warnings: if you haven't finished season 3 yet, stop reading!

Since season 1 I decided Ellen was a cylon.  What's crazy about that, you ask?  Well, I didn't think she was a previously unseen model, but rather, an (artificially) aged 6.  I thought I just had to share this, in light of the last episode.  Very funny.

And, I don't think Starbuck is a cylon; I think, instead, she's the real first hybrid!  That could explain her crazy powers... her mystery daddy may be Cavil (model 1), Tigh, or the final one.  There's something about the idea of Kara as Tigh's daughter that just makes me cackle.

Finally, not a theory but a wish, I'd really like to see the cylons resurrect some human, just to freak us out.  I mean, if they're as similar to humans as they keep saying, there should be nothing preventing their resurrection system to work for a human, right?  I guess Baltar would be the perfect candidate (they had plenty of chance to get whatever information they need to do it), but Cally would be fun to see too.

2008-04-28 08:16 PM

2008-04-22

from Hysterical Raisins

Alterslash ftw

I changed my Google Reader and news clippings from Slashdot to Alterslash. Yes, it's some time behind Slashdot, but then again Slashdot is some time behind my other sources anyway... and Alterslash gives proper HTML, so you don't have to click Slashdot only to get the link to the actual useful article...

I'm not going to go back and retroactively change all old clippings, but I did that for the clippings of the last few days. Enjoy!

by lalo at 2008-04-22 04:11 PM

2008-04-06

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Freedom for security? Heck, we'll give logic!

Today, I was shocked and awed to learn that in Brazil, ATMs still close at night. It reminds me of the old Brazilian joke about the restaurant that closes for lunch.

I was still living there when this was first done, as a temporary measure to save energy during a brownout. Then after the energy crisis was over, the banks decided to keep it a little longer, because of the interesting Brazilian phenomenon of the "flash kidnapping": criminals will pick up someone who looks like they have money (preferably drunk), take the person to the ATM, and demand a ransom. Ah, the wonders of technology; in the old days you'd have to wait days for a ransom, and go to the trouble of having a place to store the hostage, feed him, all that unending mafan...

Now seriously. I can understand this as a temporary solution. But it strikes me that places everywhere else in the world still have ATMs, and they don't close at night. And really, what are ATMs for, if not for getting money when the banks are closed? The logic behind this measure amazes me. Freedom for security? Apparently, we're willing to throw in comfort, convenience, heck, even logic!

Well, bank agencies get robbed, so let's not have banks anymore.  And let's fill all dark alleys with concrete and build over all squares so that drug dealers have no place to work anymore, why not?

Hey wait a minute, I have a brilliant idea! What about we don't have CORNERS anymore??? Think about it! No prostitutes, no traffic accidents...

Oh man, and people say China is hardcore.  And people ask me when I'm going back!  Care to take a guess?

2008-04-06 08:14 AM

2008-04-04

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Come on, Battlestar Galactica is not THAT cool.

Lots of sci-fi fans and non-fans all over the world are rejoicing that Battlestar Galactica is finally -- after a long break -- returning for its fourth and last season.

But I'm frequently surprised, puzzled, and annoyed by hyperbole like: Yet BSG has done for the post-Roddenberry space western what Tony and Co. did for the post-Coppola mob tale: exhumed a mummified subgenre and reanimated it with all the relevant eschatological dread and martial hysteria of millennial America. BSG was, for a while there, the most important show on television.

WTF? Seriously, WTF?

I'm a card-carrying, t-shirt-wearing BSG fan, don't get me wrong. I think it's one of the best series I've ever seen.

But from there to bashing sci-fi? "Mummified"? Really? No. Just no.

Whoever expresses a point of view like that either:

  • Is trying to hard -- or just being sensationalistic to get more page views.

  • Has no idea what they're talking about, probably parroting something they heard.

  • Was blown out of their mind by the coolness of BSG. (Hey, it happens.)

  • Has never seen, say, Firefly, or Torchwood, or Babylon 5.


BSG is cool. It is very relevant it that it made a lot of people watch sci-fi for the first time ever, or for the first time in years.

But please, let's keep it in perspective. There's nothing new or revolutionary about "realistic" sci-fi; it has happened before, and it will happen again. If anything, I think the greatest merit of BSG is reminding a lot of people of what (good) sci-fi is about. Not visual effects, fancy make-up, lasers, explosions, fistfights, strange aliens. It's a medium for talking about whatever is important to the author; it's a kind of fiction that uses a situation removed from the viewer/reader's reality, in order to create a detachment, and make it possible for us to think about certain things from that detached point of view (which can be used either to make us more objective, or more flexible).

Let's thank Ronald Moore and crew for an awesome work of fiction. Let's enjoy this season. But when it's over -- or, if you're anxious, even between episodes -- let's not feel abandoned. Those DVDs of Firefly, Babylon 5, The Outer Limits, etc are not that expensive. Heck, with any luck, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles may even drift away from the gunfights and explosions into a deeper exploration of what it is to be human.

2008-04-04 11:42 AM

2008-04-01

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

If blogs were restaurants

This one would be the kind of place you go to get drunk. The booze is top-quality, although it's sometimes wise not to ask where it comes from; the bartender knows what you like, and a glance is all you have to do to order; the prices are reasonable; and you always meet the same few whackheads, whom you enjoy and find very funny. You could even consider them your friends, if you had ever seen them sober.

(Little "meme"-ish thing I picked up from BLUG colleague Melanie Parsons Gao)

2008-04-01 09:07 AM

The Cross-Over Of The Galaxy

Got this from a very reliable source.

This weekend, the comeback episodes of two fan-favourite series -- Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who -- come with a historical cross-over. First, Starbuck's return is explained, not by her being a Cylon, but by a timely intervention by a certain Time Lord. After saving the maverick blonde, he proceeds to tell her where, after all, is this "Earth" place. He then takes her there to see it, where they discover Martha Jones is really the Last Cylon! The two of them then run back to Galactica for help, leading directly into the events of the BSG season 3 finale...

Highlights: Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) sets up a sevensome with Gaius Baltar (James Callis), #6 (Tricia Helfer), #3 (Lucy Lawless), #9 (Freema Agyeman), Starbuck (Kattee Sackhoff) and a Viper (Clint Eastwood).

2008-04-01 06:45 AM

2008-03-26

from Hysterical Raisins

The Ballad Of Sir Href

It goes like this...

Take a page from Arthur's book
Join this body august most
Take seat at the round table
Where no knight a row will brook
Remain strong but never boast
Proper form makes you able
The Elysium Fields to fill
And submit all to your will
With your style and your skill.

by lalo at 2008-03-26 08:03 AM

2008-03-03

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

The Doctor is In

It's a sci-fi series, a very popular spin-off from another, very popular sci-fi series which has been going on for much longer than these series usually last. They have two "chief" doctors clashing in the lab; the guy who has been there since the beginning of the series, who just came back from the dead (although with complications), and a pretty girl, loved by the fans, played by an actress who had a very popular role in another sci-fi series...
Which series am I talking about?

2008-03-03 12:59 AM

2008-02-27

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

I Figured It All Out©

I think "real life" really is some kind of massively multiplayer virtual reality game. That explains why people have such radically different priorities in life (different kinds of player, maybe different character "classes"!), and why there are so many mediocre people in the world (those belong to "casual gamers" who leave the character on auto most of the time).

2008-02-27 12:51 PM

2008-02-22

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #27

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that April has already lasted for 290 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance, which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus). ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-22 03:13 PM

2008-02-16

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #26

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that April has already lasted for 290 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance, which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus). ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-16 04:10 AM

2008-02-13

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Someone Else's Comedy

This is a random thought that Fred actually asked me to blog yesterday :-)

You have probably heard the theory that every work of fiction actually happens in an alternate universe somewhere. Heck, we play this premise to death on the LNH.

Well. I consider the 80s definite proof of this theory. It was a whole decade during which we were the setting for some other universe's comedy writers. And really, what kind of person could be cruel enough to come up with the likes of Reagan or Mitterrand? And that fashion, oh, that fashion!

2008-02-13 08:19 AM

2008-02-11

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #25

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that April has already lasted for 289 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance, which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus). ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-11 01:43 AM

2008-02-08

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #24

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that April has already lasted for 285 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance, which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus). ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-08 10:24 AM

2008-02-06

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

S. O. B.

Today I'm borrowing some wisdom from Ultraje a Rigor, one of my favourite Brazilian rock bands.

Free translation:

"To live in this country is like having your mom in the red light zone. You know she's no good, but you love her anyway. Not that I have anything against bed professionals, but it's the sons of that dame, you know what it's called..." ("Filha da Puta", 1989)

2008-02-06 05:59 AM

from Uploads from Lalo Martins

Spaghetti a sichuanica

Lalo Martins posted a photo:

Spaghetti a sichuanica

Italian spaghetti with mapodoufu. Yummy! Why didn't I think of this before?

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-06 01:05 AM

Stay of proceedings

Lalo Martins posted a photo:

Stay of proceedings

In calm and fragrant flavour

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-06 01:03 AM

2008-02-05

from Hysterical Raisins

Billy's old car

Billy has a broken car. It's broken mostly because he doesn't know how to run it, of course; and more importantly, because it's making Billy rivers of money even though it's broken, so there's no incentive to learn to run it right.

Then Jerry drives by with an incredibly shaggy, shitty car, with a few nice accessories.

Billy immediately thinks: I'll buy Jerry's car, and use the parts to make mine less broken!

Of course, Billy still not knowing what to do with a car, it will remain broken, or best case, be fixed for a short time before he breaks it again. And it will still be hugely profitable. So to be honest, I see nothing wrong with Billy's logic.

Yeah, there's a reasonable chance it will make zero difference to Billy's car in the long run. But it will make people talk about Billy even more, which of course, puts more money on his pocket. Maybe even more than he's offering.

by lalo at 2008-02-05 03:01 AM

2008-02-04

from Hysterical Raisins

Jame5

Yesterday I finished my new friend Stefan's book, Jame5. It's a read I recommend to pretty much anyone, but in particular intelligent people interested in the future. It deals with a concept that has been a hot topic in the last few years, the "technical singularity": an AI that's intelligent enough to improve itself.

There are a number of reasons why this concept is called a "singularity", a word borrowed from astrophysics (where it means black holes). Once it exists, it grows spontaneously, and at exponential speed. And no less importantly, we're unable to fully understand and predict what's happening in there, because all laws we know and live by are challenged.

It's the last thing humanity has to invent, because if done right, once it's there, it will invent everything else, at a pace that will seem instantaneous for us. And if done wrong, we won't be around to invent anything else.

The book is available online, on Stefan's site, and can be bought in dead tree form (links can also be found on Stefan's site). If you're in Beijing, you can also get one directly from Stefan.

by lalo at 2008-02-04 10:40 PM

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #23

Previously on 58.5:

Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 285 days.

A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, but what can a few newbie heroes do
against an entire LNH with "no redeeming qualities"?

=============================-=============================
...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-04 10:23 PM

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

My thoughts on America

One problem I think many people (American or not) have with trying to understand America, is the assumption that it's one whole country pursuing this elusive "American Dream" they talk about so much. A land where all people are "equal" (at least to the extent that they work hard to enforce their own rights), and free to pursue their own ideas of happiness.

I eventually realised this idea is not, in fact, true. The "American Dream" was already achieved, a long time ago (probably right after their Civil War, or during, or a little before it). One of the purest expression of the American Dream is the wild west. But the difference in lifestyle between, say, New York, Atlanta, New Orleans, Chicago, Texas, Utah, and California in the late 19th Century is also another prime example. (Yeah, I realise I'm mixing cities and states. Don't bother me with details!)

America lived the dream for over a hundred years. Then at some point in the early 20th Century, they got bored and went after something else. And that's the key to understanding the country.

2008-02-04 03:37 AM

2008-02-03

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

Reflections of Candlemas

This candle isn't burning very brightly, because the wick is too short. Lesson? It's not bright to be insufficiently wicked.

If one of the holiday themes is milk... well, then it can't be a sin to drink some coffee too, eh?

So Brigid is a Goddess of inspiration, and I have on occasion lighted a candle for her when writing. But when coding? Well, why not? Being both a poet and a smith, I can't help wondering how she'd feel about computers.

A lot of candles in a small space can get pretty warm. Yes, even those ridiculous tiny candles.

2008-02-03 12:40 AM

2008-02-01

from LNH Archives

LNH: 58.5 #22

[semi-Acraphobe warning: nudity, graphical violence, sexual suggestions, nothing too serious I think]

"That's a hero's death", said the humanoid kiwi.

"I'd agree if I agreed with the field at all", answered Sgt. Lauro Graziani, a few breaths away from his death after being blasted by a powerful Evilverse LNHer. "As it is, I think it's a coward's choice, and I'm not prepared to die for it. Help me out here?"

"What are you trying to do?"

"I have a small statue in my pocket. A god I've chosen to worship and who has been pretty good at protecting me. I want ...

by Lalo Martins at 2008-02-01 08:05 PM

2008-01-27

from I'm the internets embodied. Or Hagbard Celine.

You must invite 23 friends before you can see this post.

Please choose up to 20 friends from the list below and click "Invite". If you don't, you'll be redirected back to this page until you do.

...

Seriously, come on Facebook, isn't it about time you started banning apps that do this?

2008-01-27 11:10 AM